Joe Six-Pack

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Joe Six-Pack is a demi-god who regularly manifests in class discussions, primarily in Philosophy class. He is part of the Pantheon of Section 400. He was first discovered when then-Freshman Zechariah Lee enlisted his aid in making a point in a Philosophy 102 class. The sudden appearance of so eccentric a demi-god in the middle of an ordinary classroom in Baldwin was met with excessive awe and wonder on the part of Zach's classmates, and Joe Six-Pack was immediately adopted by the section, taking a throne in their pantheon.


Because he is but a demi-god, Joe is not as worthy as other gods of having fully fledged rites and mysteries. However, he does have one uncompromising tenet that all must obey. His physical appearance is never to be described or illustrated: specifically, it is never to be determined whether Joe Six-Pack earned his name because he habitually imbibes beer in the unit known as the six-pack, or because he has exquisitely delineated abdominal muscles. In the words of one of his followers, "It works either way – that's the beauty of it."


In an age long past, or maybe it was last semester, Joe Six-Pack dove deep into the murky depths of the Parabola in a daring feat of courage. His purpose was to explore its boundaries and to discover whether any strange wonders lurked in its profundities. His adventures were many, and what he found is fully catalogued in the short epic The Feats of Joe Six-Pack, but most notably his dive resulted in the discovery of Transcendental Numbers, especially one particularly nasty specimen known as the Balrog.